Cannibal comparison - Holocaust vs Ferox

The UK’s Director of Public Prosecutions put together a list of official video nasties, thus creating a convenient must-see list for horror fans. From my bolt hole behind the counter in Abdul’s shop, I worked my way through the list, picking the ones which would spark most debate to take into school. Abdul also subscribed to Video World and Video – the magazine. When I wasn’t watching videos, I was reading about them. I came close to Abdul’s level of knowledge, at least as far as the nasties were concerned. These were the films most people wanted to know about. The tabloid outrage was generating lots of free publicity. One man came up to the counter with the boxes for Cannibal Holocaust and Cannibal Ferox. “Which one of these is better?” he asked.

            I knew this would require a lengthy answer. I wished I’d taken up smoking so I could roll a cigarette like my dad would have done. As it was, I stepped from behind the counter so the man could appreciate my illustrative hand gestures. “The cinematography in Holocaust is more interesting. There’s an effective contrast between the multiple camera set-ups of the main film and the handheld material of the film within a film.” It was a clumsy way of describing it, but I didn’t know the term ‘found footage’ in those days. “The best you can say about the cinematography in Ferox is that it’s workmanlike. The music in Holocaust is excellent. The main theme is a gorgeous concerto for guitar and orchestra in G major. To be honest, it’s far too good for a film like this. It was written by Riz Ortolani, who had a habit of casting his pearls before swine. His song ‘More’ featured in Mondo Cane, thus allowing that grubby little film to call itself Oscar-nominated. As for Ferox, there’s a doom-laden musical motif running through it, which has more than a hint of Cream’s ‘White Room’ about it. The main theme sounds like it belongs in some show from the seventies, probably one where a cop discovers his ex-wife is the new precinct chief with hilarious consequences. My main issue with Ferox, however, is it’s based on a flawed premise. It’s the story of an academic who goes into the Amazon jungle to prove cannibalism no longer exists. How’s she going to do that unless she visits every last inch of the place? I went for a walk in the woods the other day and I didn’t see a badger. Can I therefore conclude badgers do not exist?”

            I must have inherited some of my dad’s talent as a compelling speaker, because the man let me get through all this. Only when I paused for breath did he ask, “What are you going on about, mate? Which one of these films is better?”

            “You should ask which of these films is worse. Holocaust shows a woman impaled on a spike. Ferox shows a woman hung up by her breasts.”

            “All the violence is against women?”

            I didn’t like the way he asked this, but if Abdul insisted on serving racists, I guessed he felt the same about misogynists. I put him straight. “Not all. It also doesn’t go well for you if you’re a turtle or a penis. The cannibals’ machete makes short work of them too.”

            “I’ll take both,” he said.

Extract from Beatles, Bolt Holes, and Video Nasties - available now

amazon.co.uk https://shorturl.at/Kd56s

amazon.com https://shorturl.at/BWZ8S

Next
Next

The Damned - live at the Eventim Apollo - Saturday 29 October 2022 - review